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FIC: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Cuter [Gundam Wing, Heero x Relena]
Title: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Cuter
Author: Omnicat
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: Gundam Wing
Warnings: Sex.
Characters & Relationships: Heero x Relena
Summary: Relena has been playing detective and confronts Heero with his deepest, most shameful secret. // LEMON // 1773 words
Author’s Note: Written for the Church of Lemons 2021. Enjoy!
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Cuter
Sitting on the edge of her desk, Relena pointed the remote control at the portable television set and pressed ‘play’, and then ‘fast forward’. A recording started: of the two of them, in this very office, taken from an odd angle that placed the camera somewhere in or on the pile of clutter on top of the filing cabinet in the corner, Heero estimated. He quickly realized the video was taken on Valentine’s Day. Their grainy, sped up selves repeated him giving her a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a miniaturized grizzly bear paw print on a keychain. (The latest in a long line of increasingly jokey all-bears-all-the-time gifts. He couldn’t wait for her birthday, so he could give her the antique taxidermied snarling monster he’d found on their recent work trip to Canada and shipped over in secret.) Hidden-camera-Relena fed hidden-camera-Heero one of her chocolates, kissed him deeply, and left for her debate.
The plan that day had been for him to finish some paperwork and then take his customary place in an unobtrusive corner. As this video showed, that wasn’t what happened. He did his paperwork, yes. But he was constantly shooting looks at the box of chocolates Relena had left on her desk. In fast forward, the frequency of his peeking was downright comical.
When he finished his work, he took a lingering look at the door, pulled the box of chocolates toward him, and took one. And another one. And another. And another. And then the box was empty, and he covered his mouth and looked at the door with a palpable air of ‘well, shit’.
On that evocative image, Relena stopped the video.
“So. The whole box,” she said, a hint of amusement around her mouth the only crack in her carefully controlled expression.
And here he’d assumed this was a booty call. She’d locked the door and everything.
Heero eyed her with what his malnourished but ever-strengthening radar for unspoken social rules told him was due caution. “I got you a new box of chocolates.”
“A different kind of chocolates,” Relena pointed out. “A standard issue box, I believe, without the special Valentine’s cherry cream filling.”
“You didn’t even have any from the first box, so how do you know that?”
“I tasted it on you right after I gave you that first one. Not one of the chocolates in the box that was waiting for me later had the same flavor.”
“I’ll hunt down a box of cherry cream filled chocolates for you,” Heero promised. He narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re not actually mad, though.”
“Of course I’m not mad,” Relena laughed. “And I don’t need you to replace them a second time –”
“I will anyway.”
“– though I won’t complain if you do!”
“So what do you want from me?”
Shaking her head, Relena just emphasized “The whole box!”, looking at him with an expression of fondly amused adoration. She directed that expression at him a lot. Maybe slightly less heavy on the amusement, usually, but on the whole, it told him nothing about what she was thinking right now.
He stalked over to her and crowded her against the desk. “Fine,” he said, his hands planted on either side of her hips and their faces close enough for their respective bangs to brush. He felt the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You caught me. Happy?”
“Very,” she breathed. “I’d noticed something off about my chocolate stash on several earlier occasions, but this was the first time I thought to set a trap for the culprit.”
“It didn’t even occur to me that I could be targeted by an inside actor. Very impressive.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you done laughing at me now?”
Clearly not, because that just set her off.
“I’m laughing, but not at you,” she swore breathlessly.
“Hm. A likely story.”
“I’m just...”
But he didn’t get to hear what she was, because she cracked up even harder. He made a sour face at her. She buried her hands in his hair, hooked a leg around his ass, and pulled him in close.
Pushing between her thighs, he kissed her hard. She surged back up against him with equal enthusiasm. Skirt rucking up between their bodies, she wrapped her other leg around him too. They broke apart for air and he started a trail of kisses down her neck and sternum.
“Still hungry?” she panted.
“It’s been days, don’t be silly,” he said, in between two kisses.
“It’s foreplay, don’t be a spoilsport.”
“You installed surveillance equipment and unearthed my bad chocolate habit as foreplay?”
Relena sighed deeply, if with the shadow of an involuntary smile. “The foreplay is an entirely unforseen consequence of discovering your lurid secret. Now answer the question, Mr Yuy.”
He raised his head to look her in the eye, and smirked. “Yeah, boss. I just can’t get enough.”
And he pushed her onto her back onto the desk and unbuttoned her blouse. Relena didn’t even bother unclasping her bra, she just slipped the straps from her shoulders and pushed the cups down until her breasts spilled out.
Heero dug into them like he really was famished. He mouthed at her skin, relishing in its smoothness and the give of her flesh, and sucked her nipples to taut points. Then he moved further south. Relena didn’t much like to draw out the journey when there were orgasms to be had, and besides, they were both technically supposed to be working.
Together they worked her panties down and her skirt up. He nuzzled between her thighs and inhaled the musk of her womanhood. The taste and smell of her was familiar by now, but it would never get old.
“I’ll spare you all the lame quips about your appetite that are going through my head right now,” Relena said huskily.
Heero huffed out a laugh. “Then I’ll spare you the one I was about to force for the sake of foreplay.”
He put his mouth on her, and feasted. He wouldn’t be speaking the word, but he was thinking it. Alternating between licking into her and suckling on her clit, he drove Relena’s pleasure higher and higher like only he knew how. Her breath turned to gasps and muted mewls. Her muscles clenched and unclenched, inside and out.
“Heero,” she panted, and he fastened his lips around her clit and sucked, hard, sucked again and again until she went taut all over and he swore he could taste her orgasm change her flavor on his tongue.
She clumsily urged him away from her center, then collapsed in a boneless heap atop the desk. Sitting back in his chair to catch his own breath, Heero licked her flavor from his lips. As amazing and addicting as he’d found chocolate to be, this would always be his favorite flavor.
After a moment’s consideration, he told her that.
She laughed. Her knees drew together and her ribs shook, and it was both the least dignified and the most... the most... love-inducing? yeah, he’d go with that – position he’d ever seen her in. Funny how that worked. When he fell in love with her, she’d seemed so much larger than life, poised and pure and powerful. He’d thought it couldn’t get any better than that. But it could.
After rolling over and fumbling a condom from a number-locked box in her desk drawer, Relena pushed herself up on one elbow and beckoned him. Heero unzipped and complied, letting her roll the rubber down his erection. He was already rock hard – how could he not be? – and she was wet and open. With her legs around his waist, she pulled him in, and they slid home with a mutual sigh.
They rocked together, rhythmic and sure. This round was his; Relena slipped a hand between them to rub her clit and chase another orgasm, while he finally went to work on his own. He kept his focus on her anyway, too enamored with her pleasure and his own ability to give it to her not to, no matter what they’d agreed upon about workplace quickies. But his thrusts went from smooth and even to hard and fast at his own pace, Relena helping him along this round, moving against him and clenching around him in all the right ways.
Relena’s second orgasm still managed to outpace his somehow, and before he knew it he lost himself in the exquisitely excruciating squeeze of her body and spilled inside her. He muffled his groan with a hard, messy kiss. Her hand fisted in his hair tightly enough to sting. And they melted together like – fine, he was gonna think it – chocolate in the sun, the tickle of their heaving breaths on each other’s skin the only convincing evidence that they hadn’t merged into one.
Still loose and relaxed with the afterglow, Relena said: “I admit, I am laughing at you a little, even now. But mostly I want to congratulate you.”
It took a moment for Heero’s brain to switch gears and backtrack to what they were talking about before the orgasms started.
“On what? Getting caught? Losing the battle with temptation?” he asked incredulously.
She took his face in her hands and beamed up at him. “You have a vice! A little human weakness to joy! I found an honest-to-god vice!”
Heero could only stare. Her delight was infectious, though, and he felt one corner of his mouth almost quirk up despite him. Almost. “...I have killed countless people and am technically still wanted by the government we both serve.”
“That’s tragic backstory, not vice.”
“I’m permanently in a bad mood –”
She pressed a quick kiss to his still-moving lips, and he felt them quirk at last.
“Lies.”
“– or at least look like I am, I barely communicate unless the fate of the world is at stake, my sense of humor is incredibly morbid, so when I do laugh, it’s about inappropriate things...”
Relena squished his cheeks. “A vice!”
Heero closed his eyes in defeat. Then: ah, he realized belatedly. She really wasn’t laughing at him. They were just two minds thinking alike. That warmed him more than the minimal prick to his ego earlier could account for.
“And I have a shameful weakness for chocolate,” he finished lightly. “I actually already tracked down where to get the cherry cream stuff when it’s not Valentine’s Day. I’ve been itching for an excuse to buy more. My offer to replace your box is selfish and likely to backfire.”
“Perfect,” she said, and kissed him thoroughly.
“We’ll get multiple boxes,” he mumbled in between kissing back.
“Even better.”
Author: Omnicat
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: Gundam Wing
Warnings: Sex.
Characters & Relationships: Heero x Relena
Summary: Relena has been playing detective and confronts Heero with his deepest, most shameful secret. // LEMON // 1773 words
Author’s Note: Written for the Church of Lemons 2021. Enjoy!
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Cuter
Sitting on the edge of her desk, Relena pointed the remote control at the portable television set and pressed ‘play’, and then ‘fast forward’. A recording started: of the two of them, in this very office, taken from an odd angle that placed the camera somewhere in or on the pile of clutter on top of the filing cabinet in the corner, Heero estimated. He quickly realized the video was taken on Valentine’s Day. Their grainy, sped up selves repeated him giving her a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a miniaturized grizzly bear paw print on a keychain. (The latest in a long line of increasingly jokey all-bears-all-the-time gifts. He couldn’t wait for her birthday, so he could give her the antique taxidermied snarling monster he’d found on their recent work trip to Canada and shipped over in secret.) Hidden-camera-Relena fed hidden-camera-Heero one of her chocolates, kissed him deeply, and left for her debate.
The plan that day had been for him to finish some paperwork and then take his customary place in an unobtrusive corner. As this video showed, that wasn’t what happened. He did his paperwork, yes. But he was constantly shooting looks at the box of chocolates Relena had left on her desk. In fast forward, the frequency of his peeking was downright comical.
When he finished his work, he took a lingering look at the door, pulled the box of chocolates toward him, and took one. And another one. And another. And another. And then the box was empty, and he covered his mouth and looked at the door with a palpable air of ‘well, shit’.
On that evocative image, Relena stopped the video.
“So. The whole box,” she said, a hint of amusement around her mouth the only crack in her carefully controlled expression.
And here he’d assumed this was a booty call. She’d locked the door and everything.
Heero eyed her with what his malnourished but ever-strengthening radar for unspoken social rules told him was due caution. “I got you a new box of chocolates.”
“A different kind of chocolates,” Relena pointed out. “A standard issue box, I believe, without the special Valentine’s cherry cream filling.”
“You didn’t even have any from the first box, so how do you know that?”
“I tasted it on you right after I gave you that first one. Not one of the chocolates in the box that was waiting for me later had the same flavor.”
“I’ll hunt down a box of cherry cream filled chocolates for you,” Heero promised. He narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re not actually mad, though.”
“Of course I’m not mad,” Relena laughed. “And I don’t need you to replace them a second time –”
“I will anyway.”
“– though I won’t complain if you do!”
“So what do you want from me?”
Shaking her head, Relena just emphasized “The whole box!”, looking at him with an expression of fondly amused adoration. She directed that expression at him a lot. Maybe slightly less heavy on the amusement, usually, but on the whole, it told him nothing about what she was thinking right now.
He stalked over to her and crowded her against the desk. “Fine,” he said, his hands planted on either side of her hips and their faces close enough for their respective bangs to brush. He felt the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You caught me. Happy?”
“Very,” she breathed. “I’d noticed something off about my chocolate stash on several earlier occasions, but this was the first time I thought to set a trap for the culprit.”
“It didn’t even occur to me that I could be targeted by an inside actor. Very impressive.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you done laughing at me now?”
Clearly not, because that just set her off.
“I’m laughing, but not at you,” she swore breathlessly.
“Hm. A likely story.”
“I’m just...”
But he didn’t get to hear what she was, because she cracked up even harder. He made a sour face at her. She buried her hands in his hair, hooked a leg around his ass, and pulled him in close.
Pushing between her thighs, he kissed her hard. She surged back up against him with equal enthusiasm. Skirt rucking up between their bodies, she wrapped her other leg around him too. They broke apart for air and he started a trail of kisses down her neck and sternum.
“Still hungry?” she panted.
“It’s been days, don’t be silly,” he said, in between two kisses.
“It’s foreplay, don’t be a spoilsport.”
“You installed surveillance equipment and unearthed my bad chocolate habit as foreplay?”
Relena sighed deeply, if with the shadow of an involuntary smile. “The foreplay is an entirely unforseen consequence of discovering your lurid secret. Now answer the question, Mr Yuy.”
He raised his head to look her in the eye, and smirked. “Yeah, boss. I just can’t get enough.”
And he pushed her onto her back onto the desk and unbuttoned her blouse. Relena didn’t even bother unclasping her bra, she just slipped the straps from her shoulders and pushed the cups down until her breasts spilled out.
Heero dug into them like he really was famished. He mouthed at her skin, relishing in its smoothness and the give of her flesh, and sucked her nipples to taut points. Then he moved further south. Relena didn’t much like to draw out the journey when there were orgasms to be had, and besides, they were both technically supposed to be working.
Together they worked her panties down and her skirt up. He nuzzled between her thighs and inhaled the musk of her womanhood. The taste and smell of her was familiar by now, but it would never get old.
“I’ll spare you all the lame quips about your appetite that are going through my head right now,” Relena said huskily.
Heero huffed out a laugh. “Then I’ll spare you the one I was about to force for the sake of foreplay.”
He put his mouth on her, and feasted. He wouldn’t be speaking the word, but he was thinking it. Alternating between licking into her and suckling on her clit, he drove Relena’s pleasure higher and higher like only he knew how. Her breath turned to gasps and muted mewls. Her muscles clenched and unclenched, inside and out.
“Heero,” she panted, and he fastened his lips around her clit and sucked, hard, sucked again and again until she went taut all over and he swore he could taste her orgasm change her flavor on his tongue.
She clumsily urged him away from her center, then collapsed in a boneless heap atop the desk. Sitting back in his chair to catch his own breath, Heero licked her flavor from his lips. As amazing and addicting as he’d found chocolate to be, this would always be his favorite flavor.
After a moment’s consideration, he told her that.
She laughed. Her knees drew together and her ribs shook, and it was both the least dignified and the most... the most... love-inducing? yeah, he’d go with that – position he’d ever seen her in. Funny how that worked. When he fell in love with her, she’d seemed so much larger than life, poised and pure and powerful. He’d thought it couldn’t get any better than that. But it could.
After rolling over and fumbling a condom from a number-locked box in her desk drawer, Relena pushed herself up on one elbow and beckoned him. Heero unzipped and complied, letting her roll the rubber down his erection. He was already rock hard – how could he not be? – and she was wet and open. With her legs around his waist, she pulled him in, and they slid home with a mutual sigh.
They rocked together, rhythmic and sure. This round was his; Relena slipped a hand between them to rub her clit and chase another orgasm, while he finally went to work on his own. He kept his focus on her anyway, too enamored with her pleasure and his own ability to give it to her not to, no matter what they’d agreed upon about workplace quickies. But his thrusts went from smooth and even to hard and fast at his own pace, Relena helping him along this round, moving against him and clenching around him in all the right ways.
Relena’s second orgasm still managed to outpace his somehow, and before he knew it he lost himself in the exquisitely excruciating squeeze of her body and spilled inside her. He muffled his groan with a hard, messy kiss. Her hand fisted in his hair tightly enough to sting. And they melted together like – fine, he was gonna think it – chocolate in the sun, the tickle of their heaving breaths on each other’s skin the only convincing evidence that they hadn’t merged into one.
Still loose and relaxed with the afterglow, Relena said: “I admit, I am laughing at you a little, even now. But mostly I want to congratulate you.”
It took a moment for Heero’s brain to switch gears and backtrack to what they were talking about before the orgasms started.
“On what? Getting caught? Losing the battle with temptation?” he asked incredulously.
She took his face in her hands and beamed up at him. “You have a vice! A little human weakness to joy! I found an honest-to-god vice!”
Heero could only stare. Her delight was infectious, though, and he felt one corner of his mouth almost quirk up despite him. Almost. “...I have killed countless people and am technically still wanted by the government we both serve.”
“That’s tragic backstory, not vice.”
“I’m permanently in a bad mood –”
She pressed a quick kiss to his still-moving lips, and he felt them quirk at last.
“Lies.”
“– or at least look like I am, I barely communicate unless the fate of the world is at stake, my sense of humor is incredibly morbid, so when I do laugh, it’s about inappropriate things...”
Relena squished his cheeks. “A vice!”
Heero closed his eyes in defeat. Then: ah, he realized belatedly. She really wasn’t laughing at him. They were just two minds thinking alike. That warmed him more than the minimal prick to his ego earlier could account for.
“And I have a shameful weakness for chocolate,” he finished lightly. “I actually already tracked down where to get the cherry cream stuff when it’s not Valentine’s Day. I’ve been itching for an excuse to buy more. My offer to replace your box is selfish and likely to backfire.”
“Perfect,” she said, and kissed him thoroughly.
“We’ll get multiple boxes,” he mumbled in between kissing back.
“Even better.”