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FIC: When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments [Gundam Wing, Trowa & Middie & Sally & Noin &Zechs]
Title: When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: K+ / PG
Genre: Humor
Spoilers: The series proper and Episode Zero.
Warnings: Spelling Preventors with an ‘o’.
Pairings: Milliardo Peacecraft x Lucrezia Noin
Disclaimer: Me no claim, you no sue. That okay?
Summary: “First they came for the genocidal would-be dictators, then they came for the gundam pilots...” “What do you think she’ll do, tell some international peacekeeping organization?” Sally asked jokingly.
Author’s Note: Maybe there’s less reason to get all flaily and panicky about this multi-chapter stuff than I thought. Hee!
When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
“I can’t believe Preventors would just let her in on this, even if you're in a hurry.”
“What do you think she’ll do, rat’em out to some international peacekeeping organization?” Sally asked jokingly.
“First they came for the genocidal would-be dictators, then they came for the gundam pilots...”
Sally sighed. “Trowa, hun, aside from her involvement with you, she is spotless as far as Preventor agents go. Her future in the organization looks very bright. Not to debase your experiences with her or anything, but Lady just doesn’t have those experiences.”
“Nobody does. That’s the problem.” Trowa said lowly.
Sally looked at his vidphone image sympathetically. “You can’t expect this taciturn bunch to throw their own judgement aside because of something that happened ten years ago, but you know they’re not doing it just to spite you, right?”
“Can I at least expect them to stop rubbing it in?”
“I think that would vary from person to person.” Sally said with a smirk.
“So, you clear on what to do, agent Une?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Let me hear you repeat it.”
Middie summarized her responsibilities, ending with: “I do not hesitate to flash my badge and look either intimidating or charming, and no matter what happens, I do not take action against our guests without your express permission.”
“Very good. Now make sure you do that.”
“Yes ma’am! Uhm, just so we’re clear, would your death count as permission to act?”
Sally considered this. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Middie leaned back against the wall with her hands in her pockets while Sally resumed staring out the terminal windows. “So who are these guests, anyway?”
“Just some old friends.”
“Old friends who just happen to get more secrecy and security than the VFM in a hot zone?”
Sally smirked. “I thought you’d have gotten used to Preventor’s eccentricities by now, agent Une. You could say these two are like sleeper agents coming out of deep cover for updates and reevaluation.”
“Deep cover on Mars? It’s deader than a desert up there, why would we need agents all the way on Mars?”
“Mars is a good refuge for dissidents who don’t agree with how things are done in the rest of the Earth Sphere. That it’s so quiet there is in large part thanks to them and their efforts at spotting and neutralizing anti-ESUN sentiments in the Settlement. Oh, that’s their shuttle! Come on agent Une, there’s work to be done.”
The new arrivals were a man with large sunglasses and a curtain of blond hair obscuring his features, and a dark-haired woman sporting the side-swept long bangs that were trendy five years or so ago (and which, for some unfathomable reason, some people just never got rid of).
“Sally!”
“Noin!”
Sally and the woman threw themselves at each other the moment they lay eyes on each other. Much hugging and exited, outsider-proof chatter followed. Middie was almost sure the look the obscure-faced man gave her was as awkward as the one she gave him.
“Hi.” she said.
“Hi.” he replied, and took off his sunglasses.
Middie let out a shriek that ended only when she had her gun in both hands and trained on him. Milliardo Peacecraft looked mildly embarrassed, at most.
“Uhm, Miss Po,” he said, pocketing his sunglasses very slowly. “Didn’t you say your partner was trustworthy?”
Sally turned, her friend peeking over her shoulder.
“Hey, why are your glasses off?” the dark-haired woman asked, at the same time Sally said: “Oh Middie, cut that out. We’ve talked about this.”
“T - talked?” Middie managed to croak, wide eyes darting between Sally and Milliardo Peacecraft. “You said there’d be special guests. Old friends. Agents. You didn’t say anything about him!”
Sighing, Sally walked over to her, pushed the gun down and laboriously pried it from Middie’s hands, muttering soothingly about orders and deep breaths and possible bribes while Middie spluttered something about giant space lasers and Swiss cheese. Without her gun to protect her, Middie was hard-pressed not to physically hide behind her superior.
“Middie,” Sally said at length, one hand firmly on her shoulder. “These are Lucrezia Noin, a-k-a Preventor Fire, and Milliardo Peacecraft, a-k-a Preventor Wind.”
“A-k-a the man who blew a hole in the planet!”
“Later, hun. Noin, Mill, this is Middie Une, Lady’s cousin.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Noin said with a knowing smile. “Though I can imagine the feeling’s not exactly mutual.”
“Why is he not dead?” Middie hissed through her teeth, eying the man tensely.
“It was an accident, I swear.” Milliardo Peacecraft answered.
“You didn’t tell her beforehand?” Noin asked Sally.
“I didn’t think she’d recognize him. There’s very little footage of you as the White Fang’s leader available to the general media, so most people are more familiar with the image of Zechs Merquise.” Milliardo Peacecraft quickly put his glasses back on, but Sally snorted. “Too late for that now.”
Middie returned Sally’s apologetic look with a horrified one. “You would have let me spend the entire ride in the presence of a genocidal maniac zombie without telling me?!”
“Would you even have come with me if I’d told you sooner? If there’d been someone more suitable available on such short notice I wouldn’t have taken you with me, but I need a backup. We can’t have a former genocidal would-be dictator just run loose, now can we?”
Middie did not think it was funny. “So you’re saying neither of us is hallucinating? This guy blew a hole in the planet! Why isn’t he dead, why aren’t we arresting him?!”
“He got better.” Sally said with a shrug.
It was so unbelievable, it left Middie speechless.
“Allow me to explain.” Noin butted in. “Sally and I are old friends from back in the war, Milliardo and Lady know each other through the late Treize Khushrenada, and Milliardo and I go back all the way to childhood. When Libra went down, Sally and I joined the Preventors while Milliardo disappeared, presumed dead. He came back to aid in stopping the Mariemeia Rebellion, and Lady decided to allow us to leave for Mars free of prosecution. We’ve been doing good deeds over there ever since, disguised as ordinary Settlement workers.”
“Noin’s a Preventor through and through.” Sally added with a grin. “She has him on a tight leash. Right, Mill?”
“Tighter than you know.” Milliardo Peacecraft said with a mild smile.
Noin held up her right hand and wriggled her fingers - one of which bore a golden ring.
“You got married?” Sally exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It happened right before we left. And guess what else?”
“Don’t tell me there’s a baby on the way.”
“Yes!”
With another round of loud exclamations, Sally and Noin disappeared into a world of their own, which excluded Middie and everything beyond the shoulder of a bizarrely meek Milliardo Peacecraft’s arm, which Noin held in a vice grip.
Middie was struck with the thought that she suddenly knew exactly what Trowa was going through.
And that the end of this shift might be the time to get very very drunk.
PSAN: This was originally supposed to be the second to last chapter, but I just got an official-looking letter of complaint from Treize. From the afterlife, yes. O_o
Spies Of Our Lives
When Spies meet Howard’s Hawaiian, and Its Namesake
When Spies have Job Interviews
When Spies meet their Karmic Twins
When Spies have Boring Assignments
When Spies meet Wise Old Masters
When Spies have Interesting Assignments
When Spies meet No-One. In Fact, This Never Happened
When Spies have Days Off
When Spies meet the No-Nonsense, Unimpressed Truth
When Spies have Family Outings
When Spies meet Relatives for Rent
When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
When Spies meet the Undead Doctor
When Spies have No Good, Very Bad Days
When Spies meet the Ghost of Love Disasters Past
When Spies have Reconciliation, Finally!
When Spies meet Their Ever After
Middie Une shows up out of nowhere and enlists with the Preventers. Paranoia ensues. Or it would, if Trowa had any say in it.
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: K+ / PG
Genre: Humor
Spoilers: The series proper and Episode Zero.
Warnings: Spelling Preventors with an ‘o’.
Pairings: Milliardo Peacecraft x Lucrezia Noin
Disclaimer: Me no claim, you no sue. That okay?
Summary: “First they came for the genocidal would-be dictators, then they came for the gundam pilots...” “What do you think she’ll do, tell some international peacekeeping organization?” Sally asked jokingly.
Author’s Note: Maybe there’s less reason to get all flaily and panicky about this multi-chapter stuff than I thought. Hee!
When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
“I can’t believe Preventors would just let her in on this, even if you're in a hurry.”
“What do you think she’ll do, rat’em out to some international peacekeeping organization?” Sally asked jokingly.
“First they came for the genocidal would-be dictators, then they came for the gundam pilots...”
Sally sighed. “Trowa, hun, aside from her involvement with you, she is spotless as far as Preventor agents go. Her future in the organization looks very bright. Not to debase your experiences with her or anything, but Lady just doesn’t have those experiences.”
“Nobody does. That’s the problem.” Trowa said lowly.
Sally looked at his vidphone image sympathetically. “You can’t expect this taciturn bunch to throw their own judgement aside because of something that happened ten years ago, but you know they’re not doing it just to spite you, right?”
“Can I at least expect them to stop rubbing it in?”
“I think that would vary from person to person.” Sally said with a smirk.
“So, you clear on what to do, agent Une?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Let me hear you repeat it.”
Middie summarized her responsibilities, ending with: “I do not hesitate to flash my badge and look either intimidating or charming, and no matter what happens, I do not take action against our guests without your express permission.”
“Very good. Now make sure you do that.”
“Yes ma’am! Uhm, just so we’re clear, would your death count as permission to act?”
Sally considered this. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Middie leaned back against the wall with her hands in her pockets while Sally resumed staring out the terminal windows. “So who are these guests, anyway?”
“Just some old friends.”
“Old friends who just happen to get more secrecy and security than the VFM in a hot zone?”
Sally smirked. “I thought you’d have gotten used to Preventor’s eccentricities by now, agent Une. You could say these two are like sleeper agents coming out of deep cover for updates and reevaluation.”
“Deep cover on Mars? It’s deader than a desert up there, why would we need agents all the way on Mars?”
“Mars is a good refuge for dissidents who don’t agree with how things are done in the rest of the Earth Sphere. That it’s so quiet there is in large part thanks to them and their efforts at spotting and neutralizing anti-ESUN sentiments in the Settlement. Oh, that’s their shuttle! Come on agent Une, there’s work to be done.”
The new arrivals were a man with large sunglasses and a curtain of blond hair obscuring his features, and a dark-haired woman sporting the side-swept long bangs that were trendy five years or so ago (and which, for some unfathomable reason, some people just never got rid of).
“Sally!”
“Noin!”
Sally and the woman threw themselves at each other the moment they lay eyes on each other. Much hugging and exited, outsider-proof chatter followed. Middie was almost sure the look the obscure-faced man gave her was as awkward as the one she gave him.
“Hi.” she said.
“Hi.” he replied, and took off his sunglasses.
Middie let out a shriek that ended only when she had her gun in both hands and trained on him. Milliardo Peacecraft looked mildly embarrassed, at most.
“Uhm, Miss Po,” he said, pocketing his sunglasses very slowly. “Didn’t you say your partner was trustworthy?”
Sally turned, her friend peeking over her shoulder.
“Hey, why are your glasses off?” the dark-haired woman asked, at the same time Sally said: “Oh Middie, cut that out. We’ve talked about this.”
“T - talked?” Middie managed to croak, wide eyes darting between Sally and Milliardo Peacecraft. “You said there’d be special guests. Old friends. Agents. You didn’t say anything about him!”
Sighing, Sally walked over to her, pushed the gun down and laboriously pried it from Middie’s hands, muttering soothingly about orders and deep breaths and possible bribes while Middie spluttered something about giant space lasers and Swiss cheese. Without her gun to protect her, Middie was hard-pressed not to physically hide behind her superior.
“Middie,” Sally said at length, one hand firmly on her shoulder. “These are Lucrezia Noin, a-k-a Preventor Fire, and Milliardo Peacecraft, a-k-a Preventor Wind.”
“A-k-a the man who blew a hole in the planet!”
“Later, hun. Noin, Mill, this is Middie Une, Lady’s cousin.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Noin said with a knowing smile. “Though I can imagine the feeling’s not exactly mutual.”
“Why is he not dead?” Middie hissed through her teeth, eying the man tensely.
“It was an accident, I swear.” Milliardo Peacecraft answered.
“You didn’t tell her beforehand?” Noin asked Sally.
“I didn’t think she’d recognize him. There’s very little footage of you as the White Fang’s leader available to the general media, so most people are more familiar with the image of Zechs Merquise.” Milliardo Peacecraft quickly put his glasses back on, but Sally snorted. “Too late for that now.”
Middie returned Sally’s apologetic look with a horrified one. “You would have let me spend the entire ride in the presence of a genocidal maniac zombie without telling me?!”
“Would you even have come with me if I’d told you sooner? If there’d been someone more suitable available on such short notice I wouldn’t have taken you with me, but I need a backup. We can’t have a former genocidal would-be dictator just run loose, now can we?”
Middie did not think it was funny. “So you’re saying neither of us is hallucinating? This guy blew a hole in the planet! Why isn’t he dead, why aren’t we arresting him?!”
“He got better.” Sally said with a shrug.
It was so unbelievable, it left Middie speechless.
“Allow me to explain.” Noin butted in. “Sally and I are old friends from back in the war, Milliardo and Lady know each other through the late Treize Khushrenada, and Milliardo and I go back all the way to childhood. When Libra went down, Sally and I joined the Preventors while Milliardo disappeared, presumed dead. He came back to aid in stopping the Mariemeia Rebellion, and Lady decided to allow us to leave for Mars free of prosecution. We’ve been doing good deeds over there ever since, disguised as ordinary Settlement workers.”
“Noin’s a Preventor through and through.” Sally added with a grin. “She has him on a tight leash. Right, Mill?”
“Tighter than you know.” Milliardo Peacecraft said with a mild smile.
Noin held up her right hand and wriggled her fingers - one of which bore a golden ring.
“You got married?” Sally exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It happened right before we left. And guess what else?”
“Don’t tell me there’s a baby on the way.”
“Yes!”
With another round of loud exclamations, Sally and Noin disappeared into a world of their own, which excluded Middie and everything beyond the shoulder of a bizarrely meek Milliardo Peacecraft’s arm, which Noin held in a vice grip.
Middie was struck with the thought that she suddenly knew exactly what Trowa was going through.
And that the end of this shift might be the time to get very very drunk.
PSAN: This was originally supposed to be the second to last chapter, but I just got an official-looking letter of complaint from Treize. From the afterlife, yes. O_o
Spies Of Our Lives
When Spies meet Howard’s Hawaiian, and Its Namesake
When Spies have Job Interviews
When Spies meet their Karmic Twins
When Spies have Boring Assignments
When Spies meet Wise Old Masters
When Spies have Interesting Assignments
When Spies meet No-One. In Fact, This Never Happened
When Spies have Days Off
When Spies meet the No-Nonsense, Unimpressed Truth
When Spies have Family Outings
When Spies meet Relatives for Rent
When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
When Spies meet the Undead Doctor
When Spies have No Good, Very Bad Days
When Spies meet the Ghost of Love Disasters Past
When Spies have Reconciliation, Finally!
When Spies meet Their Ever After
Middie Une shows up out of nowhere and enlists with the Preventers. Paranoia ensues. Or it would, if Trowa had any say in it.