Next Stop: ...Good Question

Title: Not if you put it like that
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: T
Genre: Romance, Humor with Parodic undertones.
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: The TV series, the Endless Waltz OVA and the Episode Zero and Ground Zero mangas.
Warnings: Sap sappity sap. What’s this... gasp! Holy faeces, what did I do?! Slightly Angsty thoughts! Don’t worry, don’t panic, they’re stuffed with Fluff. :P Naked people and the assumption of naked people activities. Ground Zero references. Plus/minus-10-years-into-the-future-characterisation, which might be considered OOC by some. (I claim artistic license. ;) )
Pairings: Heero Yuy x Relena Peacecraft, mentioned Milliardo Peacecraft x Lucrezia Noin, Duo Maxwell x Hilde Schbeiker, Trowa Barton x Middie Une, Quatre Winner x Dorothy Catalonia and Wufei Chang x Sally Po.
Disclaimer: The glossy magazines Star Exclusive and Newslady are my own creations, but if they really exist, I did not know and do not claim to own them. Gundam Wing isn’’t mine either. No profit is being made through this fic.
Summary: Heero and Relena have an interesting midnight discussion about love, life and, through many bad examples, marriage.
Author’s Note: So I was raiding the Blissful Ignorance archive the other day... yeah, I’m weird like that. Sue me. Anyway, it’s long overdue, has too many words, and I’ve never been able to write the standard romantic tropes the way they should be written, but I found the 99 ways to propose to Relena contest there and found it to be fun, so here’s the result: my characteristically cross ‘entry’. Enjoy!
 

PSAN: No acute cavities? Then please Read and Review! (Is it very obvious that I couldn’t keep a straight face while writing this?) Oh, and before I forget... I did not come up with the thing about Heero keeping something in the sole of his shoe. I read it in another fic once, of which I have unfortunately forgotten both the author and the title. But the idea was so touching that I wanted to use it here. Credit goes to whoever came up with it first!

Oh, yeah... ehm, this story is set somewhere very close to Christmas, some twenty, twenty-five years after the canon. Dorothy was being picky about the Christmas cards again. And fortunately, it worked out very well this time. Treize just... popped up, somewhere along the road. You know how those things go. Didn’t think you would mind, seeing as I had the brought the Freaky Five in without protest already. And on how H was able to go from who knows where Trowa and Wufei live to the colony where Hilde’s Scrapyard is settled, L4 and the Sank kingdom in one night; Santa magic. Secret of the trade, the muse wasn’t allowed to tell me either.

Additional Notes

* “Huh? ...oh, Author!” Once again, no so-called omniscient, omnipotent, worshipper-rich, creative entity is going to steal Omnicat’s praise! :P

Legend

Zechs - Milliardo and Noin’s firstborn son, named after his father’s alias. Sechs is the German word for ‘six’.
Sieben - Milliardo and Noin’s second son. Sieben is the German word for ‘seven’.
Katrina ‘Katie’ - Odin’s younger sister. Named after Relena’s biological mother.
Diana - Roman Goddess of the hunt.
The infamous hereditary 01/06 quarrels - Heero versus Zechs Merquise/Milliardo Peacecraft speaks for itself. Odin (Germanic/Norse one-eyed god of wisdom and war) and Zechs (see above) carry on the tradition of wanting to blow each other up one minute, backing each other up for the common - ahem - good the other. With relish.
Meiran - Wufei and Sally’s firstborn daughter. Named after Wufei’s first wife, who died when they were both only fourteen.
Victoria - The first daughter of Lady Une, Treize’s second. Roman goddess of victory.
Lokai - Treize and Lady Une’s oldest son. Derived from Loki, mischievous Germanic/Norse god of fire.
Ares - Treize and Lady Une’s youngest son. Greek god of passionate war (as opposite to Minerva, the goddess of smart, intellectual war; Ancient Greeks knew the difference between men and women).
Harry, Horace, Hillbilly, Hayden, Hugh, Hank, Hans, Henrico, Heath, Heidi - Since nobody knows what the Freaky Five’s letters stand for, Zechs Peacecraft, among others, has taken up the habit of calling them by a different name starting with that initial every time.

Ho, Ho, Ho!
Winner Residence
Hilde's Scrap Yard and the Maxwell Maze
Sank Royal Palace
H has drawn the shortest straw once again. He must now execute J’s evil, charitable Christmas schemes and visit six households before daybreak in order to save his own behind. See how this lab–potato with no sense of direction fares.

PSAN: Bedankt dat jullie dit gelezen hebben. Lezen & Loven, alsjeblieft!