Next Stop: ...Good Question

Title: Not if you put it like that
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: T
Genre: Romance, Humor with Parodic undertones.
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: The TV series, the Endless Waltz OVA and the Episode Zero and Ground Zero mangas.
Warnings: Sap sappity sap. What’s this... gasp! Holy faeces, what did I do?! Slightly Angsty thoughts! Don’t worry, don’t panic, they’re stuffed with Fluff. :P Naked people and the assumption of naked people activities. Ground Zero references. Plus/minus-10-years-into-the-future-characterisation, which might be considered OOC by some. (I claim artistic license. ;) )
Pairings: Heero Yuy x Relena Peacecraft, mentioned Milliardo Peacecraft x Lucrezia Noin, Duo Maxwell x Hilde Schbeiker, Trowa Barton x Middie Une, Quatre Winner x Dorothy Catalonia and Wufei Chang x Sally Po.
Disclaimer: The glossy magazines Star Exclusive and Newslady are my own creations, but if they really exist, I did not know and do not claim to own them. Gundam Wing isn’’t mine either. No profit is being made through this fic.
Summary: Heero and Relena have an interesting midnight discussion about love, life and, through many bad examples, marriage.
Author’s Note: So I was raiding the Blissful Ignorance archive the other day... yeah, I’m weird like that. Sue me. Anyway, it’s long overdue, has too many words, and I’ve never been able to write the standard romantic tropes the way they should be written, but I found the 99 ways to propose to Relena contest there and found it to be fun, so here’s the result: my characteristically cross ‘entry’. Enjoy!
 

PSAN: No acute cavities? Then please Read and Review! (Is it very obvious that I couldn’t keep a straight face while writing this?) Oh, and before I forget... I did not come up with the thing about Heero keeping something in the sole of his shoe. I read it in another fic once, of which I have unfortunately forgotten both the author and the title. But the idea was so touching that I wanted to use it here. Credit goes to whoever came up with it first!

PSAN: *hums Christmas songs*

 Legend

Prima - Italian, female form of ‘first’.
Twey - This is how the Dutch word for ‘two’, twee, would be pronounced in English.
Dritten - Drei is German for three, dritte is ‘third’.
Quinty - Derived from the Latin word for ‘five’.
Octavia - Derived from the Latin word for ‘eight’.
(Yeah, Quatre and Dorothy only produced daughters here. Ironic, ain’t it? And off the record, so did Wufei with Sally. Evil Authoress, teehee.)
Solo - Duo and Hilde’s first born son.
Hell’s Twins - Helen and Helga Maxwell, Solo’s younger sisters (twins).
‘Young’ Odin - Heero and Relena’s firstborn son.
Triton Bloom Jr. - Do I even need to explain? Trowa’s first born son, whether it be with Middie Une, Lady Une or someone else entirely. You decide which thought you like best.

Ho, Ho, Ho!
Winner Residence
Hilde's Scrap Yard and the Maxwell Maze
Sank Royal Palace
H has drawn the shortest straw once again. He must now execute J’s evil, charitable Christmas schemes and visit six households before daybreak in order to save his own behind. See how this lab–potato with no sense of direction fares.

SPACE COLONISATION BROUGHT TO HALT BY SANITARY PROBLEMS
Some Random Place In Space- Major problems with the plumbing in the already infamous space colonies are causing delays in the construction works.
When the first supply and drainage pipes were tested, it was discovered that with the reduced gravity in the artificial athmosphere, neither drainage nor suppliance of water and waste-products functioned properly. The results have not been disclosed to the public or press, but inside intelligence reports that untill further notice, it is forbidden to take a shower or to cause fires. This newspaper is sure our readers can imagine the chaos a spray of water from a shower head or sprinkler system would cause when the water is not forced to follow a downward path due to the environmental gravity.

( It's Only Horse - Quatre x Catherine )