FIC: Earth King Tranquillizer [Avatar, Earth King x Joo Dee]

[omnicat]

Title: Earth King Tranquillizer
Author: Omnicat v''v 
Rating: T 
Genre: Humor 
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: Up until "Lake Laogai". 
Warnings: Very perverted humor. 
Pairings: Earth King Kuei x Joo Dee 
Disclaimer: Once you’ve read this you’ll know exactly why I’m not part of the Avatar production team. 
Summary: Just how did Long Feng keep the Earth King pacified for all those years? 
Author’s Note: Enjoy! ;D
 

Earth King Tranquillizer

"Long Feng, I want to visit the city." the Earth King announced one day.

He did that a lot.

"I’m sorry your highness, but you can’t." Long Feng a answered as always, not even taking his hands from his sleeves.

"Why not?"

"Because it would be dangerous, your highness."

"Dangerous?"

"Yes, your highness."

"You mean there are dangers in the city? But then I must go there and support my people!"

"Not for the entire city, your highness, only dangerous for you. Because you are the Earth King."

"Is it more dangerous than dieing of boredom?"

Long Feng sighed. Having the same conversation over and over again was beginning to become tiresome. The Earth King was like a small child; easy to manipulate, but also in possession of a tenacity that could make even the most patient man cave, eventually.

More permanent measures were in order.

"Tell you what, your highness, how about I bring the city to you, instead of the other way around?"

"You could do that?"

"Give me the afternoon to work on it. I’ll have a surprise brought to your quarters after dinner."



By all means, Kuei was a mild-mannered man. But that night the suspense was killing him, causing him to resort to pacing his quarters and stomping his feet at the same time. The combination was oddly cheerful; he dubbed it tap-dance and almost forgot what it was that led him to this invention in the first place before there was finally a knock at the door.

"Oh, come in!"

He had expected Long Feng himself, but through the door came a woman in soft greens and with the widest grin Kuei had ever seen.

"Hello! My name is Joo Dee. I have been given the great honour of telling your highness all about Ba Sing Se."

It was then Kuei knew he was in love.

"But first," Joo Dee said, kneeling down in front of Kuei and reaching for his belt. "Fellatio."

They lived very, very happily until Joo Dee was called away to escort the Avatar and his friends, and everything went to hell.

 
PSAN: Should I duck to avoid rotten fruit or is the coast clear?