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FIC: Hate You Kiss You Love You Kill You [Darker Than Black, Amber x Hei]
Theme: list Bèta # 21 – Good Company?
Rating: K+ / PG
Warnings: Very vaguely defined sexytimes.
Author’s Note: This is short and vague, but I’m having attention span problems and I really just need to get DTB out of my system for the moment. o.o
Hate You Kiss You Love You Kill You
“You’re so cute. Shame you’re always making such a long face. It doesn’t suit you at all.”
He knows she is heartless. Inhuman. She doesn’t care: she is only using him, a toy to take out when she is bored and tossed aside again as soon as something else comes up. She is a biologically straight woman and he is the only male on the team.
That’s all it is to her.
She smiles that fathomless Contractor smile and draws her hands reverently down his chest, lean from the exercise of constant battle, and memorizes the emotionless planes of his features with gentle fingers. In full knowledge of what she is, what she wants, he lets her do as she pleases, but he makes sure to tell her -
“I hate you.”
She doesn’t look bothered by it, which does not surprise him.
Amber is a Contractor, after all.
“You’re sweet. Even in human families it’s rare to find such devotion.”
That’s all it is to him.
When she coaxes desire out of him with her Contractor hands, eyes wide and intent like a magpie’s on a sparkle, he gives in. He lets her pry the knives from his cramped fists, the bloodstained clothes from his skin, drain the tension from his limbs with her caress, and never forgets -
“I hate you. I don’t know why I don’t just kill you.”
She doesn’t look convinced, let alone bothered, as he knew with bitter certainty she would.
Amber will always be a Contractor, after all.
“You don’t have to ask. Anything you want, anything you need. You know how I fee-”
When he pins her down, forgoing all niceties in favour of the blunt and callous way he knows a Contractor would favour, she does not struggle.
He’s tired of being used, of being manipulated, of being surrounded by monsters.
“I hate you. I don’t know why I don’t just kill you. But I bet you don’t even care enough to wonder about things like that.”
“I don’t have to wonder.” She draws him to her then, until the backs of his hands around her throat brush his own skin, and kisses him. In her Contractor eyes is something almost like longing, and compassion, and love. “Because I’m not the one lying to myself.”
“I hate you. I don’t know why I don’t just kill you.”
Her fingers brush along the corners of his eyes and come away wet. His hands twist and jerk in her hair and she runs her Contractor hands tenderly through his.
“I hate you.” he says.
Amber is and always will be a Contractor, and he hates Contractors, after all.
“I hate you.”
Over and over, until the thick tears clog his throat and her salty kiss draws the truth from his lips, breathless and tiny and cowering like a little boy lost in a dark forest full of monsters - I hate myself - and the only thing that keeps him from pushing away this creature that could love someone like him are her arms around him, arms that say it’s okay, that she loves him anyway.
He doesn’t know if she’s lying: he doesn’t know if Contractors can love, but he hates her for not hating him.
PSAN: *grumbles at LJ's stubborn insistence that formatting entries should take BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS*
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that's the copy of the message I sent you on Fanfiction.net.
I've just read your fanfiction on Darker than Black series, and I am so much impressed! It's truly beautiful. I would like to further share it with people in my native language, which is Russian. Would you mind if I tried to translate "Hate You Kiss You Love You Kill You" and "A Moment of Sympathy"? I will do my best to preserve the elegance of your style.
Looking forward to hearing from you
Best regards
Anastasia
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I am so very flattered by your offer! Thank you so so much. I'm very happy you enjoyed my writing, and it is definitely okay to translate my fics. Those two or any other you feel like, really. :D All I ask is the usual; credit for the original, link me to wherever you're posting, and if the website you're posting to allows it, include in the translation a link to the original and/or my author profile. That's it! :)
I hope you have a lot of fun translating! And I look forward to seeing the result, even though I won't be able to read a letter of it. XD
*so flattered!!*
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Thank you so much!
The first one is ready and deposited here: http://ficbook.net/readfic/993094
Thanks again for creating such beautiful stories!
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